by Christian Heim and Caroline Heim
Infidelity, mental illness, and financial pressures can spell the end to many marriages, but how do thriving couples overcome these threats? How do they stand united while others fall apart? Our new study sheds light on these questions and highlights an important principle to keep relationships resilient.
The main reasons for divorce include a lack of commitment, an affair, too much conflict, financial pressure, substance abuse, and partner violence. But many couples face at least some of these issues in a long-term marriage, and some couples manage to work through them. As a psychiatrist, I’ve (Christian) seen couples find commitment after lacking it, be stronger after an affair or marital conflict, and even rebound from financial ruin. But how? The answer may be found in our new study.
We asked 180 coupled individuals in resilient relationships of 40+ years from 42 countries about the big stressors that threatened to ruin their marriage. We also asked how they overcome these stressors to stay together. We found a strong underlying pattern in how these couples coped.
